WhatsApp Status: Confidence level today: sent the voice note without listening back. Living dangerously.

WhatsApp Status: Asked AI to describe me in three words. It said ‘work in progress.’ We are not speaking.

WhatsApp Status: My laptop has been updating for 4 hours. I have aged visibly. We are both struggling.

WhatsApp Status: Silly Putty implies the existence of Serious Putty, and I don’t want to meet it.

WhatsApp Status: I’m not high maintenance. I just have very specific needs that change without warning.

WhatsApp Status: Life is short. Eat the good biscuits. Don’t save them for guests. The guests don’t deserve them more than you do.