Facebook Status: I started a new diet today. It’s called “I’ll start properly on Monday.”

Facebook Status: I wish Facebook had a algorithm which would tag me in other people’s fights. I want to see all the drama.

Facebook Status: One of my favourite pastimes is imagining politicians trying to get away with the same shenanigans in their mother’s home.

Facebook Status: If you could only eat one food for an entire week, what food would you choose?

Facebook Status: If you had to be an animal, which would you choose and why?

Facebook Status: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of the act.