• WhatsApp Status: The only running I do is late. And I’m very consistent at it.

  • WhatsApp Status: I’m not a pessimist. I’m an optimist with extensive experience.

  • WhatsApp Status: Just used the word ‘whilst’ in a text. I don’t know who I’m becoming but they seem fancy.

  • WhatsApp Status: I’m that friend who shows up with snacks, no advice and zero judgement. Book me early.

  • WhatsApp Status: My villain origin story is being put on hold for 45 minutes and then disconnected.

  • WhatsApp Status: Just said ‘you too’ when someone said happy birthday to me. Packed my bags. Moving countries.