Facebook Status: Phew! Thank you, warning label. I was actually considering using my toaster in the shower this morning.

Facebook Status: The older you are, the harder it is to lose weight, because your body and your fat have become good buddies.

Facebook Status: Time is precious. Waste it wisely.

Facebook Status: It hurts when you go to unfriend someone, only to find they’ve beaten you to it!

Facebook Status: Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness. – Lucius Annaeus Seneca.

Facebook Status: To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.