• Facebook Status: I’m silently correcting your grammar.

  • Facebook Status: Stress spelled backwards is desserts. Just saying.

  • Facebook Status: Coffee first. Adulting later.

  • Facebook Status: I tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.

  • Facebook Status: I’m multitasking: procrastinating and being tired at the same time.

  • Facebook Status: Work hard so your dog can have a better life.