• Facebook Status: My hobbies include eating and complaining that I’m getting fat.

  • Facebook Status: Running on coffee and chaos.

  • Facebook Status: I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

  • Facebook Status: I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.

  • Facebook Status: Today’s mood: optimistic but slightly hungry.

  • Facebook Status: I’m on a seafood diet—I see food and I eat it.