Facebook Status: I didn’t say it was your fault – I said I was blaming you.

Facebook Status: The longer the title, the less important the job.

Facebook Status: I am too young to be this old!

Facebook Status: Thanks to new alcoholic energy drinks, instead of the walk of shame, you can do the sprint of shame.

Facebook Status: Be strong now, because things will get better. It might be stormy now, but it can’t rain forever.

Facebook Status: It’s not economical to go to bed early to save candles if the results are twins.