Facebook Status: Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

Facebook Status: Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed it.

Facebook Status: Imagine you had super powers. What would your one weakness would be?

Facebook Status: Thanks to new alcoholic energy drinks, instead of the walk of shame, you can do the sprint of shame.

Facebook Status: I’m never sure what to do with my eyes when I’m at the dentist. Do I close them? Do I stare at his face? Do I look at the ceiling?

Facebook Status: Be yourself; everyone else is taken.