WhatsApp Status: Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now’.

WhatsApp Status: I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.

WhatsApp Status: I could talk about myself for hours, but the second someone asks me to tell them a little bit about myself? I can’t even remember my name.

WhatsApp Status: Totally available! Please disturb me!

WhatsApp Status: A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

WhatsApp Status: Stop worrying about the world ending today – it’s already tomorrow in Australia.