Facebook Status: Give a person a fish and you’ll feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

Facebook Status: Don’t ruin a good day because of a bad yesterday.

Facebook Status: Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Facebook Status: What’s one thing you can do today to make someone else laugh? Did you do it yet? How about now?

Facebook Status: I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed but at least I’m not that weird rusty one in the back that no one knows how to use.

Facebook Status: Sweet dreams are made of cheese. Who am I to diss a Brie?