Facebook Status: I’m not addicted to Facebook. I only use it when I have time: lunch-time, break-time, bed-time, off-time, any time, all the time.

Facebook Status: When I was a kid, I slept with a nightlight to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light-bulbs.

Facebook Status: I was wearing glasses before it was a Snapchat filter, so I’m a trendsetter.

Facebook Status: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

Facebook Status: The difference between stupidity and genius, is that genius has limits.

Facebook Status: When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.