Facebook Status: If you could put together a football team of politicians and celebrities, who would you enlist and why?

Facebook Status: I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.

Facebook Status: Let’s observe a moment of silence for those who saw my post but didn’t like it.

Facebook Status: My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray, like a toaster.

Facebook Status: Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

Facebook Status: I always wonder if someone somewhere is doing the same exact thing as I am.