Facebook Status: If you had 3 wishes, what would they be? (You can’t wish for another wish, or money.)

Facebook Status: I just wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.

Facebook Status: I don’t slap people I just high-five them in the face.

Facebook Status: I wish I had somebody to blame all of my problems on like my wife does.

Facebook Status: Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbours are not.

Facebook Status: I grew up being told not to write on the walls. I felt so bad when I first joined Facebook.