Facebook Status: Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person, apparently that is called stalking.

Facebook Status: The first 5 days after the weekend are always hard.

Facebook Status: That moment when you try talking to someone you’re hot for and you say GFBLQRINABAH instead of “I’m good thanks!”

Facebook Status: I forgot to work out today. That’s 5 years in a row!

Facebook Status: Line dancing was originally invented by women waiting in line for the bathroom.

Facebook Status: Back in 5 minutes (If not, read this status again).