Facebook Status: The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so they can tell when they’re really in trouble.

Facebook Status: Why do people believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Facebook Status: It’s not economical to go to bed early to save candles if the results are twins.

Facebook Status: By the time someone realises that their parent was right, they have a child who thinks they’re wrong.

Facebook Status: Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

Facebook Status: Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed it.