WhatsApp Status: I’m not good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

WhatsApp Status: Love your enemies – it’ll confuse them.

WhatsApp Status: That awkward moment when you pull your blankets up and punch yourself in the face.

WhatsApp Status: Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

WhatsApp Status: Don’t be afraid to step on people – Mario made a career out of it.

WhatsApp Status: Nothing ruins a Friday more than realising that today is Tuesday.