Facebook Status: I hate it when I plan a conversation in my head but then the other person doesn’t follow the script.

Facebook Status: What was your #1 way of keeping in touch before Facebook?

Facebook Status: If you had to pick a movie title for your life story, what would it be? And who would play you in the movie?

Facebook Status: Loading brain…please wait.

Facebook Status: Today I texted my mom saying I got an A for a test. She replied: WTF see you at dinner. She thingks WTF means “Wow, that’s fantastic”.

Facebook Status: Some people are like Slinkies, not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.